Facts that I would like to reiterate
I have re-evaluated my skills and I feel that the only place that they would actually come in handy would be as some sort of handler for a band on tour. Why? Because i’m mothering. I’m really great at pciking up friends from parties when they’re plastered and getting them home. I know how to convince a drunk person to just go to sleep instead of destroying a TV or running around outside. I’ve stayed up with roomies for hours until they fall asleep after a night of shots. Not only do I understand the importance of sleep, but I ALSO an an excellent baker. Given access to even a bus kitchen, I would totally be able to create delicious treats for whatever band I’m with.
Also, I’ve been told multiple times that I’m “One of the Guys” because on my understanding about the kinds of gross things that guys like to talk about in code because they think I don’t understand. I do. It’s still gross, but whatever. I’m also excellent at getting absentminded people on track—like herding them to and from whereever they need to go. I’m positive that I could put these skills to use, getting whoever I’m working for to and from interviews to sound check.
I’m easily amused, and it’s usually entertaining for whoever I’m around. My facial expressions alone would probably be funny enough to keep me employed.
So just hire me to do whatever crappy work there is to do on a tour. I really don’t care. I’m great at organization and finding lost keys. I give awesome hugs. I know a lot about really nerdy things! I wear purple eyeliner that I would totally let my band borrow if they wanted to.
Just hire me. You won’t regret it.
